What is Love?

Many, if not most people have a distorted view and expectation of what love is. Let’s begin by dispelling the most common myth before we explore what love actually is and how it will affect our lives.

If you watch TV, listen to music, or have any media input in your life at all, you will have one central theme drilled into your consciousness: love is determined by how you feel. According to our society, love is inextricably tied to sex and is targeted to all classes and ages. Why? Because sex sells, and because in this "enlightened" society, we are encouraged to make decisions based on preference (how we feel today) rather than commitment. Preference is living together, commitment is marriage, preference is settle for, commitment is go for. It is impossible to have any consistency if the rules change every time the wind changes direction. It doesn’t work, it is foolishness, and it creates confusion. Confusion causes chaos and Satan would like nothing better than the dismantling of our families because of the misrepresentation of such a foundational principle as love. How you look and act will attract someone and create the feeling society calls love. While it may be true that love can in fact create certain feelings, the reverse is not true. Just because you find someone appealing in some way does not mean that there is love. There may very well be attraction, but attraction is not commitment. 

God gives us the definition of love in 1Corinthians 13:4-8

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  ⁸ Love never fails.  

Let’s list the various attributes of God’s definition:

1. Patient
2. Kind
3. Not envious
4. Not boastful
5. Not proud
6. not dishonorable
7. not self seeking
8. not easily angered
9. keeps no record of wrong
10. does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
11. always protects
12. always trusts
13. always hopes
14. always perseveres
15. never fails

It’s not necessary to explain what these 15 attributes mean; they are easily understood however, not easily lived by. The reason God includes them is because we all fail in one or more of these constantly. If we never failed in them, God would have no need to define love this way. To give us a look into how God views Love, look at verse 13 in this same chapter:   
¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

While it is obvious and an understatement to say that faith and hope are critical to Christianity, God says that Love is even greater.


A wise man once told me that love is a decision. Not only is love not a feeling, but it is a decision to make a commitment to these attributes God has given us. Pick the attribute(s) that you most commonly fail in and picture a situation in which you failed in that attribute. Now imagine making a conscious decision to view this situation according to God’s definition of love. How much better, stronger, encouraged, and united will your relationship be? It is a lifelong process but this is what God has for us. We will find and spread blessing as we grow in this because it’s Gods design for His creation. Us. God is the author of love, He defines it, He is perfect in it, and He desires us to be blessed by it. In fact, God is so serious about His love for us that:
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

When you hear talk about love, or think about your own relationships, please remember to have God’s plan for your life as the foundation by which you make your decisions. Also, it would be a blessing to others to share this new found insight with them.

The importance of asking questions:

There are many benefits to getting good at asking questions. In most cases, we are conditioned to carry on conversations using a combination of listening and delivering our points. Rarely do people intentionally ask questions. Why is that? Generally, I don’t think we are trained to do so therefore, it feels awkward, as though we were intruding or being nosy. The truth is, if practiced at asking questions, it comes off quite naturally to the ears of the listener and results in several benefits to both parties.

Here are some of those benefits:

•  By asking questions, it gives the impression that you care about the person. Most people like to answer questions about their favorite topic. Them. When this becomes natural and you do it with sincerity, you will notice that your ability to establish meaningful relationships will flourish.

• The obvious by-product of asking questions is that you will learn much more than you ever could by not asking questions. One of my favorite nuggets is: an education is acquired in school but the process of learning continues for a lifetime. This certainly applies here and you should take full advantage of it.   

• Ever wonder how people get connected? It’s usually due to some level of networking whether intentional or not. When you ask questions, there is always a possibility that they may be a source that will connect you to something or someone you are seeking. Would that have happened if you hadn’t asked any questions? Probably not. The conversation would have been shorter and probably not have gone down that connecting path. The reverse is also true. If you are focused and hearing the answers, you might be the one who can become the connector.

• The last point I’d like to make regarding this, is that asking questions is a very effective form of debate. If you want to get a point across to someone who is 180 degrees from your position, how do you do it? Well, if you’re certain that you are correct and have the facts to turn someone around, you will probably explain yourself and tell them where they are in error. My experience has shown me that no matter how persuasive I am (and I can be very persuasive), people generally go back to their own way of thinking once I have left. When left to their own devices, they talk themselves right back to where you had found them. The other thing that happens is that people get defensive when you are attempting to correct them and eventually shut down. Either way the result is that you don’t help them to “see the light”. What I have witnessed is actually amazing. Rather than telling them, ask them questions and at some point, they will notice their own folly and you will have made your point. The difference? They made the decision.

TVBD success system

The TVBD success system

This system is nothing new, in fact it’s based in principle so by definition, it’s been time tested and in existence since the creation. What we’re really talking about is focusing our energy on some simple but important set of organized principles that can be executed and repeated. Over time, you’ll notice the changes taking place in your life, in part because you’ll be focused and will therefore be looking for them but primarily because you’ll be engaged in the process. 

Let’s begin by defining what success is not. Success is not tied to income, your position in life, or personal status. In fact, the disease called “status” is likened to buying things that you don’t need with money you don’t have to impress people you don’t like. 

Now that we’ve got that cumbersome load out of the way, we can discuss what success actually is. Most importantly, understand that success is personal, individual, and not to be compared to other people’s goals or achievements. In the pursuit of success, there is often personal growth that takes place and that, is an individual and very personal process.  In fact, one key element is to willingly accept your challenges and view them as opportunities.  The reason for that is simple: challenges cause you to stretch, stretching causes growth and growth means that you are getting better.  You also stretch when you have a dream.  No one is perfect, nor will they ever be. That means 2 things: first, it means that you can’t ever get to perfection so don’t beat yourself up over it. At the same time, you can’t use the fact that you’re not perfect as an excuse for staying where you are. Some say that if you don’t move forward, you’re actually losing ground. The second thing it means is that you will always have something to strive for.  You can continue to progress while raising the bar. You will never quite reach perfection but you will continue to grow and hopefully enjoy the journey. Here’s the definition of success:

Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile dream

Let’s get into the success system:

Think – the basic truth about how you think is this; you are where you are because of how you think.  If you want to change where you are, change the way you think. In other words, you are the product of what you think about.  In order to change that, consider changing or adding to your associations.  In part, your associations are determined by the books you read.  Consider this; books give you insight into people's lives.  You can learn in days what it took someone an entire life to learn.  Be willing to think outside the box.  In other words, don’t put yourself into the little box that others have designated for you. Your creator has much more in mind for you than anyone could know. The truth is even though you know yourself better than anyone else, you’re also the one that will tend to limit your own potential.  How you think determines if you let the dream enter in.

Vision  is the fuel. Some people call it the dream.  It’s just getting to a point where you can “see” yourself as being there. You get a sense of what it actually feels like to achieve the dream. You can define it, taste it.  Most of the time, I believe that a vision is borne out of a passion, or even something that you do very well.  God created and equipped you with a purpose.  Ultimately, you will find your path when you seek God’s will for you.  Along the way, remember the challenges, the struggles, they are your friends.  If your dreams are big enough, the struggles won’t take you down and you’ll be energized to grow through life rather than go through life.  The successful person is not the one where everything works out well for them but rather the one who has grown from their struggles as a result of the journey.  Your vision will be the fuel that gets you through.  Remember this; you will end up exactly where you’re heading.  Do you want to be a wanderer or do you have a vision?  

Become is the process of achievement. Because success is actually a journey, the progressive achievement is very important.  The cool part of becoming, is that as we approach it, we then set new goals based on the vision. We know that we won’t reach perfection so it’s necessary to keep moving forward. This is why success is a progressive realization of the dream, and why it’s a journey, a lifelong journey.  You have now become your vision but, you aren’t stopping there, you keep setting new goals and refining your vision. Do you see why it’s so important to keep your dream alive? We need to keep moving forward to be productive in our lives.  This success system just happens to be a simple way to bring all the principles down to 4 simple components.   

Do. All these things you’ve been doing to bring you to becoming your vision, keep doing them. Success is really a matter of creating the proper habits.  Habits breed results and ultimately, results are what we are all after.  Here’s a simple nugget that might help you with this last step: extraordinary people are just ordinary people that do a little extra. Since we have come to understand that success is a journey, it stands to reason that these steps are to be repeated and become a part of how you live your life. 

I wish you all well in your personal journeys and would love to hear back from you with any questions or testimonies.

John

The Gospel of John chapter 1: verses 1-5
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it


Who was John (the author of this gospel)?
John, a very close friend of Jesus is known as the disciple whom Jesus loved. John was the brother of the apostle James; he was also the son of Zebedee, a fisherman of Galilee. John, his brother James and the apostles Peter and Andrew were all partners in a fishing business prior to their calls by Jesus to follow Him. In 70 AD, he moved to Ephesus (modern day Turkey) and became the pastor of the church in Ephesus and had a special relationship with other churches in the area. New Testament books accredited to John are the Gospel of John, along with 1st, 2nd and 3rd John and the book of Revelation (a prophecy given to John directly from Jesus).
This Gospel (the good news) was written by John around A.D. 90


Verse by verse expository commentary of 1 through 5:

• 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God.

• Jesus is referred to as “the Word”. When somebody says "I give you my word", they are giving assurance that the claim they have made is absolutely true and can be counted on. In this verse, Jesus is referred to as "the Word" giving us complete assurance that the promise of salvation, found in Jesus, can be counted on.

• Jesus was there from the beginning (eternity past)

• The end of v1 is probably one of the strongest verses in the NT that declares the deity of Christ. ‘and the Word was God.

•  Also notice the relationship (the Word was with God). God is all about relationships. It begins with the relationship within the Trinity, is extended to His creation, and then ultimately within the creation itself (people to people). We as people, would have much stronger relationships if we looked to the source and designer of all relationships rather than looking to ourselves first.

• 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.

•  Jesus was involved with creation, he didn’t exist just when he was born into the world as a human on Christmas day.

•  Not only was He involved, He was the Creator. (all things were made THROUGH Him).

• 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.

•  Note that life in Jesus was not created; life in Him simply exists (it just was). This is significant because not only does life with respect to creation of man come from Jesus, but also eternal life depends on Him. In chapter 14 verse 6 Jesus says this:

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
 
He is not saying that rejecting Him as the savior and being good, or accepting some other “god” will give you access to the Father (heaven). No, He is saying that eternal life is found only through Him.


Now, we all have a choice regarding this issue. We can accept or reject. It is important to consider what He has to say regarding this since He is the creator. Shouldn’t we be willing to put aside what we think and look to the source?

 Jesus is called many things in this book: the bread of life, the light of the world, the good shepherd, the way the truth and the life, the true vine. In this particular verse, John refers to Him as life and the light of men.

Life and light: What does that actually mean, how are they connected and how does it work?

First, notice that John makes a correlation between light and life. What does that imply?
That darkness is connected to death. Also, we know that darkness is called sin. Therefore, as light brings life, sin brings death. So without light, we are left with darkness (sin) and death. Unless the price of sin is paid for, we will die our earthly death and then be eternally separated from God (a spiritual death, in constant torment).

Romans 6:23 For the wages (to pay for, the price of) of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord

• 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

•  Notice that the light shines in the darkness. We live in a world inherent with sin, spiritually speaking; we live in a dark world.

•  In a physical sense, we need light to see. In a spiritual sense, we need “light” to see our sin so that we can know our need for Christ. And ultimately, as we learned from the previous verse, we need the Light for life.

•  Does it make sense to you that the darkness doesn’t comprehend the light? Why?

•  The darkness doesn’t see the light because it has not been revealed to it. So it cannot know it and therefore it cannot comprehend what it does not know.

• Remember that we only have the darkness until we meet and accept Jesus. Then we live in a dark world but have our citizenship in Heaven.

• Philippians 3:20 But we are citizens of heaven and are eagerly waiting for our Savior to come from there. Our Lord Jesus Christ. 

• 1 cor. 2:14 The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.


This is why it is important for us to know Jesus, so that we can see the light and have life. It is also why we must introduce others to Christ so they too will have the opportunity to see.

Recall the hymn Amazing Grace: I once was blind but now I see. This is a testimony of coming to faith.

Good Enough

The question is: am I good enough? The answer is: good enough for what?
The answer to the first question “good enough for what”, which is another question itself, is really the question that needs to be asked because it will ultimately reveal how you view yourself and how you come to that determination. The basic simple answer is that you are not good enough. You are not good enough at anything, nobody is. Once we think ourselves good enough, we begin to “settle for” rather than “go for”. We become complacent and that leads to a nonproductive life. And, it is habit forming, meaning that you will begin to find a decline in all aspects of your life if not brought under control. Perhaps the question of good enough really speaks to you as a person. We are creatures that need to be accepted, loved, respected, and so we want to think of ourselves as “good people”. As a means of answering this question, this need, many people like to gage themselves by how good they think they are. And, when they aren’t sure (which is most of the time) they measure themselves against someone else. The problem with that is you can measure yourself against a criminal and appear to be much better than he, or you can measure yourself against an accomplished person and feel useless. You can also ask yourself questions like, who says that being successful makes him good, or being a criminal makes him bad? Who wrote these ground rules and, why do they seem to change over time? is there not an un-changing standard, a go to principle that I can count on, teach my kids and know that it will still be of value when they teach their kids? Now, that is the right question and I’m glad you asked.
The idea of right vs. wrong, good vs. bad, truth vs. lies, and life-long principles vs. progressive idealism, is a real battle in our day. In fact, it has been a battle since the fall of man (man’s inherent sin nature). And as always: right, good, truth, and life-long principles are from God and can be found in His love letter to mankind, The Bible. What I’m saying is that if you want to know if something is right, good, true, and a solid principle to live by, go to the source.
With respect to the original question of “am I good enough?” the answer is found throughout scripture (the Bible). In the book of Romans ch.3 verse 23, the Apostle Paul writes: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. This means that in God’s eyes, we are not good enough. That is because He is without sin and cannot invite our sinful lives to live among Him. The good news of course is that because He is love and desires to live in relationship with His creation, He has given us a way to be reconciled of this sin. The way is Jesus. Recognize your sin and accept the atonement of it through the death of Jesus on the cross in substitution for your sin. This is God’s gift, a way out.
In closing, when you feel the need to ask yourself the question: “am I good enough?” The answer should always be measured against how God views it. He wrote the rules, He created us, He is the one with the eternal plan, He is the source of life and life everlasting. He is the only un-changing source of truth that you can count on. You are good enough to be reconciled to Him only by the gift of Jesus. And not by what you do, but by what Jesus has done. And, it is GOOD enough.

Tyranny vs. Freedom

While the American left has made it crystal clear that God is not welcomed in our politically correct society (unless of course the discussion is about a mosque in the vicinity of ground zero), the populous is becoming more energized in the opposite direction. 

As a youth soccer coach, PE teacher, and sports fan, I have found that a struggling athlete is best served by getting back to the basics.  No excuses, short cuts, or blame, simply remember why they are there, and take responsibility to correct what is within their control.  Gandhi once said Live your life as you want your world to be.  The obvious principle here is for you to get a vision of what should be and to become that yourself.  This takes a vision followed by action.  In my previous post called the dash, along with the ones on success, I clearly define the elements that make up this principle which are grounded in hope and ultimately faith.  Hebrews 11:1 says, Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen.  Faith and hope are inextricably connected. 

When things are not going well, it’s always wise to get back to the basics, and inevitably back to faith.  I pray that this is where we are as a nation.   Why?  Because we are experiencing a breakdown of our society, which many call tyranny, and we know it.  Some may not be able to define it, or put a finger on it, but it’s there and many sense that we need to turn back to God.  When you come back to your faith, you become more inclined to live by God’s principles, in fact you desire it.  These principles, designed as part of what makes this world function properly, are disappearing from daily life and the results of it are becoming obvious to even the moderate among the religious crowd.  For those readers who don’t relate to the religion thing at all, getting back to basics generally means a simpler life based in principle.  Most folks get to a point where they realize that living by principle (not taking short cuts but rather doing what is right) produce the best results in the long run.  One of my favorite nuggets regarding this principle is:  Convenience vs. commitment:  Living together = convenient, marriage = commitment. Settle for = convenient, go for = commitment.  If you take the time to read the bible, you’ll find that all good principles that you are familiar with are found there.  An example that comes to mind is the “golden rule”, do on to others as you would have them do on to you.  This is familiar to most and has been taught throughout history in our society.  It’s the foundation for respect and dignity.  This principle can be found throughout the bible. Following are 2  of many such references:

Matthew 7:12 Jesus says;   So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets

Romans 13:9   The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

1^st Great American awakening:  History shows us that religious freedom proved to be a significant component of the American revolution. Consider the following excerpt taken from Wikipedia:

President John Witherspoon of the College of New Jersey (now Princeton University) wrote widely circulated sermons linking the American Revolution to the teachings of the Hebrew Bible (old testament). Throughout the colonies dissenting Protestant congregations (Congregationalist, Baptist, and Presbyterian) preached Revolutionary themes in their sermons, while most Church of England ministers preached loyalty to the King.^[12] Religious motivation for fighting tyranny reached across socioeconomic lines to encompass rich and poor, men and women, frontiersmen and townsmen, farmers and merchants.^[13]

·  12  William H. Nelson, The American Tory (1961) esp. p. 186

·  13  Bonomi, p. 186, Chapter 7 “Religion and the American Revolution

Is this where we are today? Perhaps not at the “revolution” stage but many people see today’s events as tyranny.  The federal government, media, and the extreme left pushing our nation in a direction that mirrors socialism.  Our religious freedoms are under attack, and we are losing our moral compass.  Government is getting bigger while our freedoms are being taken away.  Our vision, ambition and sense of creativity and ultimately responsibility are slowly being replaced by a culture of entitlement. The most dangerous of all however is that God has been pushed out of our lives and replaced by the state.  The state will take care of you, handle your charitable giving by redistributing your wealth, give you free health care, and take over industry in order to protect you from it…  Who needs God?  We all do and that’s my point and my hope is that we recognize it. 

I’ll leave you with this last nugget:    When the people are afraid of the government you have tyranny, when the government is afraid of the people you have freedom