Friday, January 7, 2011

The importance of asking questions:

There are many benefits to getting good at asking questions. In most cases, we are conditioned to carry on conversations using a combination of listening and delivering our points. Rarely do people intentionally ask questions. Why is that? Generally, I don’t think we are trained to do so therefore, it feels awkward, as though we were intruding or being nosy. The truth is, if practiced at asking questions, it comes off quite naturally to the ears of the listener and results in several benefits to both parties.

Here are some of those benefits:

  •  By asking questions, it gives the impression that you care about the person. Most people like to answer questions about their favorite topic. Them. When this becomes natural and you do it with sincerity, you will notice that your ability to establish meaningful relationships will flourish.
  • The obvious by-product of asking questions is that you will learn much more than you ever could by not asking questions. One of my favorite nuggets is: an education is acquired in school but the process of learning continues for a lifetime. This certainly applies here and you should take full advantage of it.   
  • Ever wonder how people get connected? It’s usually due to some level of networking whether intentional or not. When you ask questions, there is always a possibility that they may be a source that will connect you to something or someone you are seeking. Would that have happened if you hadn’t asked any questions? Probably not. The conversation would have been shorter and probably not have gone down that connecting path. The reverse is also true. If you are focused and hearing the answers, you might be the one who can become the connector.
  • The last point I’d like to make regarding this, is that asking questions is a very effective form of debate. If you want to get a point across to someone who is 180 degrees from your position, how do you do it? Well, if you’re certain that you are correct and have the facts to turn someone around, you will probably explain yourself and tell them where they are in error. My experience has shown me that no matter how persuasive I am (and I can be very persuasive), people generally go back to their own way of thinking once I have left. When left to their own devices, they talk themselves right back to where you had found them. The other thing that happens is that people get defensive when you are attempting to correct them and eventually shut down. Either way the result is that you don’t help them to “see the light”. What I have witnessed is actually amazing. Rather than telling them, ask them questions and at some point, they will notice their own folly and you will have made your point. The difference? They made the decision.